Tuesday, July 19, 2011
last night i was really emo. I cant believe I actually started to cry when I think through it. I was saying some hope will help and found it, which made me feel better. I was reading a card this morning, which i happen to chance upon or I may have been seeking it on purpose. It gives me the encouragement I am looking for. It told me not to give up and work harder when I am back.
a shooting star flew past at
For it, I am thankful, really. It made me hold up and tell myself to give it a try.
I was actually talking about polevaulting. I think polevault is like my boyfriend. we have dated for almost 3 years. my poles has been through ups and downs with me, break some in between. But the passion is always strong. I wonder why now, i feel that it is getting a little distant, perhaps the 10months is responsible for it. I tried but I know I have to work really hard for this whole thing to work out. My passion is still the same but physically and mentally, I am starting to doubt our r/s. this 10 months let me know that we are perhaps not compatible. Is hard to really have to think through all these and come out with an option to break or stay. My heart wish to stay, but this time i have to be realistic.
That is why I decided to give myself to till the end of the year to decide. When that day comes, I hope I can make the decision to stay. If the other hand proves to be true, no matter how heart-breaking, i still have to go, I should not be so selfish and waste our time.
Do you think I should stay or go?
10:12 PM