Monday, July 18, 2011
A lot of things are going through in my head. A lot of questions I am asking myself. Are all the things and sacrifices worth it? Will i see the light some time soon or am i just trying to live in denial. Perhaps I am not up to it but I really want to prove that I can do better than that. What should I do to feel better? I hate this. A feeling of losing control and yet I know I can be in control. Time is limited now. What will happen after that? can anyone give me an answer? I dont feel like talking tonight. I dont feel like being in the atmosphere. I dont want to feel lousy. I am really trying. Maybe not hard enough. I am feeling low now. I just want to let it out. I just want to tell myself I am capable. I just want to tell myself, I am only responsible for myself not others. I do not have to think of what people think of me, I really dont want.
a shooting star flew past at
I dont want to make you think that you are wasting your time. I want to make you proud of me too. 10 months of forgetting, will I be better off learning again?
Perhaps by the end of the year, if nothings work, I should really reconsider. I hate to give up, but I hate to know that we have both wasted time.
Some form of hope will help.
10:32 PM